Sunday, March 8, 2009

It's probably me.....


Reciprocity.That is something I learned the hard way.

Often enough, one hears the saying "Man is not an island". However, that is something not entirely true. I did feel that I am an island. Whether its by design or circumstantial, it hardly matters. Being 'marooned on an island', is good enough feeling.

We live in a life where everyone and everything is interconnected. So many people remind us not to be 'living in an island'. So, what does it mean by being interconnected?

Ever so often, we tell ourselves these sort of things. But we never learn, do we? Or is it we blind ourselves with other virtues, of which most probably means nothing to others. At least, maybe we ourselves feel strongly about it, in our own expectations on how the world should evolve.

Again, should we evolve around the world or otherwise?

I hope I will find the answer to that. As for now, I hope I will learn this time. At least, a little while longer than I should have the last time.

We face issues in life. Sometime, we could handle them. Most of these instances, we fail. More often than not, its over-bearingly too complicated for us to hold on, by ourselves. If and when that happens, what do we do? Wait for help? How would help come if people are not aware we need help? Ask for help?

What if when expected to be helped or even supported, we are put in a situation where people, whom we thought matters to us, felt they are neither in a position of convenience nor under no obligation to do so?

Should in our life, we expect some sort of extension on other people's kindness and generousity, especially at the times when we felt we need it most? Is that too much to ask, from people whom we thought 'matters to us'?

My father, for over twenty years keeps reminding me "Paddle your own boat!". This happened before and every now and then, keeps coming back. I guess, this is life. Especially in the materialism world of cosmopolitan Kuala Lumpur today.

My best friend used to remind me, "You are the sort of soldier who I want to be with in a fox hole at the front lines". Has this 'reliability' finally expired, for virtues that were never in my system?

Then again, of late, I ponder within myself on the virtues of 'loyalty', 'faith', 'sincerity' and 'expectations'. Of course, I did not find the answer. Either I am not looking hard enough or not smart enough to figure it out. I used to be resolved on the stance that I am prepared to take. Nowadays, sometime I am not sure. My confidence level now is somewhat in territories so unfamiliar.

Incidentally, I came to a junction of being 'wishful thinking'. "It is a positive trait", someone said. But it also somewhat being not true to oneself. Hypocrisy to your ownself????

In the final analysis, it comes back down to your ownself. My problem now, IF I think about myself first before my surrounding, isn't that selfish? Then again, my environment does not seem to care, when I needed it most!

So what the hell should I do now????

These are the times, Sting rendered it best. I know how Martin Riggs, despite being a fictitous character, must have felt. "Its probably me".

This is also the title track for "Lethal Weapon III".

P/S: I think Sting, Eric Clapton and Dave Grussin should do more songs together!

99 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. But for a start, you can go and pray 5 times daily in congregation in your local and workplace 'surau's every day, if you haven't done that already. It will be good for you. Who knows, you might get enlightened. :) Take care.

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Anonymous said...

Philosophizing??? Must be getting old. Go take up some cooking lessons, take a break, might help.

AHO

A Voice said...

Ahhh ... the 40 self retrospection. Savour it.

wan hussin said...

Where are u? Where has u been? Where is the update? Im ur silent reader since 2008 :(

Mr Mutiara-HM said...

Bro...its ok..you are not alone..we should do more often this reunion thing...or teh tarik just like we had last night- Muoarian Mutiara 804..friends forever

good man said...

It is undeniable that malays are stupid, incapable and lazy. Why don't they just humbly admit the facts and repent and learn from other races especially Chinese?

What is the point to argue here and wasting time again?

From the first onwards we were merely telling the truths. It wasn't us who think that way but their own Badawi as well.

All malays should go and read the newspaper, even Badawi is ashamed of maintaining the NEP after 34 years of implementing it and these malay baboons are still asking for it.

Even Badawi wanted them to compete on a level playing field.

So what does all these tell the world? It sends a very clear message that it is malays themselves who are incapable and lazy and they don't even want to admit it and make a change!

That is the biggest shame of all.

Can't you see, it is all back to square one. Year in, year out, some talk for half an hour, some one, some two. Some sing, many belt out their most recent released 'pantun'.

After all. Malays are good at that. Suggestions after suggestions, some good, some impossible to realize.

But, do you see any of these materialised? Hardly. Why, why and why???

Because the malays can never change. Never! Why?

The leaders forgot it or were they simply didn't want to address and admit that the actual disease is the malays and the remedy itself is also, the malays. They can never change. What is it about the malays?

Firstly as you all know, they are a lazy species. Since the beginning of time they have been like that. Even the encyclopedia called them as lazy people. I think those British with their accent tried to call them 'malas', and if you put 'y' in, it becomes 'malays'.

Embracing Islam make them a worse lot. Now they have a license to kill anything that gets into their way.

Malays are ungrateful lot. In reality, they just can't live or open their minds for others. When Mahathir said that they are complacent, they put him in jail. When Mahathir encouraged them to learn English language, they got angry with him, saying it is a 'bahasa penjajah'.

When other races 'maju', they got angry with them too. That was why at the end of Mahathir his regime, he said this, "I have achieved greatness as a prime minister, but I only fail in one thing, changing the malays."

Well, nothing to be surprised about anyway since Mahathir is not really a malay, and I guess that was why the malays were angry with him.

Drug abuse, hate, incest, liberal extremism (culture of miniskirts and gay marriages), murder, parochialism, racism, rape, religious fanaticism, snatch theft, spoilt bratty behavior, tribalism, wife abuse, child abuse, all that is associated with the malay race.

To them, malay is the biggest impediment towards building a truly Malaysian nation, and should be chucked into the dustbins of history.

A genetically flawed race cannot be fixed by politically. Nature will take its course and globalization will put them out to pasture.

What have we got now?

Brain drain, economic disparity getting wider, poor education system, racial segregation, widespread corruption, inefficiency and uncompetitive on the government departments and others.

Sad. Sad. Sad. The question asked by many of my fellow Chinese is this - Why can't you just tell the malay peoples to adopt Chinese culture which is superior?

From research, this peninsular was part of the Siamese empire way before these malays from Indonesia invaded it.

Still so thick skin, don't want to go back to Indonesia!

Anonymous said...

oi gajah, kalu tak mau update tutup saja blog ni.

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